The magnificent seven year old
by jibber59
Summary: This was a circumstance none of them could ever even begin to have imagined. Rating for language and some (mild) violence.
1. Chapter 1

"The reality, gentlemen, is that you are going to need to be prepared for, if not the worst, certainly for something less than perfect."

"All due respect Doc, you don't know Ezra Standish. He's not about to let a bump on the head and a little water slow him down much." Buck grinned unconvincingly as he spoke.

"I do know Mr. Standish, at least his medical history. And there is no doubt the man redefines survival but, I also know this was more than just a bump on the head and a little water. It was a gunshot wound. Granted, it was just a graze, but it caused head trauma just the same. I also know he was unconscious, face down in a pool, for several minutes. My understanding is that there was a prolonged and rather intense period of CPR prior to the arrival of the paramedics."

Chris closed his eyes, flashing back to those moments of terror. No one had seen Ezra go into the pool. The raid went bad and everyone bolted in different directions.

Ezra kept his eyes on the prize. He'd spent better than 3 weeks working his way into the smuggler's circle and had finally arranged to deal with the man in charge. All it took was one cop car hitting its sirens on a totally unrelated call to turn everything sideways. Ezra charged out behind Talbot, not willing to lose the time and energy he'd invested. He was pretty sure there was enough evidence to at least start the ball rolling on charges and he wasn't going to let that slip away.

Chris had heard the gun shots from outside, but then he'd heard them from everywhere, so didn't really give it much thought. The battle hadn't lasted long, and other than the anger of a job gone wrong, everyone was fine. At least they were until JD asked if anyone had seen Ezra. When Josiah said he'd seen him take off after Talbot, they all followed the trail. The options were almost limitless. Talbot could've gone anywhere, and unless Ezra had been able to keep him in sight he'd be randomly searching as well. The team split up, leaving Josiah to stand guard over the scene, and to contact them if Ezra returned. It was only a couple of moments until they heard Buck screaming for them.

Vin got to the spot first and rushed to help. Buck had jumped into a backyard swimming pool and was dragging Ezra's limp body to the side. Vin pulled him out and immediately started mouth-to-mouth until Nathan pushed him aside and took over with CPR, while an ambulance was called.

"What the hell?" Chris demanded, knowing none of the others had any more information than he did.

Buck hoisted himself out of the pool, looking pale and shaky. "He was face down Chris. No idea how long, but he took off after Talbot," he glanced at his watch, "at least five minutes ago."

"Closer to 10," JD corrected softly. "If he's been in the water all that time –."

"Would have taken a couple minutes to get here, and who knows what else happened." Chris wanted to believe what he was saying. But watching Vin and Nathan made it hard. He squatted beside them.

"Come on Ezra. You're too stubborn for this. Please damn it."

JD and Buck were mumbling words to the same effect. Chris was so focused that Buck had to pull him clear when the paramedics arrived a few minutes later. Ezra had shown no signs of regaining consciousness either before their arrival, or while they worked. Everyone watched mutely as the ambulance pulled away.

Now they all stood together, awaiting details from the doctor.

"Just what do you mean by worst-case doc?" Chris asked, not entirely sure he wanted the answer.

"Well, in this circumstance, it isn't the obvious. All of our scans and tests indicate it will only be a matter of time until Mr. Standish regains consciousness."

There was a collective sigh of relief, but the sensation was short-lived. "However, they also indicate there has been some brain trauma."

"What you're trying to tell us is Ezra's not going to be Ezra when he wakes up?"

The doctor stepped back slightly in response to Buck's unintended surge forward. "Not precisely. It is difficult to determine how much damage there might be, or the nature of it, until the patient awakens. At this point I am willing to presume that his basic cognitive and motor functions will be intact. I do anticipate memory loss however. And before you ask, that could range from not being able to tell you what he was doing right before the incident, to not knowing who you are."

"What about knowing who he is?" JD hated the thought of Ezra being lost that way.

"It is, contrary to popular cultural references, rare for an individual to completely forget themselves. It happens, but it tends to be from emotional trauma rather than physical."

"I'd say being shot and damn near drowned counts – wouldn't you?" Buck was growing increasingly frustrated by the vagueness of the prognosis.

"Yes, it might. Gentlemen, at the moment all I can say with certainty that, barring unforeseen circumstances, your friend will likely wake up within the next 48 hours. At that time, we can determine what, if any, circumstances we will have to deal with."

"But –."

"Leave it JD. He's right. This is a wait-and-see situation." Nathan knew they wouldn't like what he said, but facts were facts.

"My understanding from the regular staff here is that there won't be a problem insuring one of you is with him at all times. It will likely ease his transition if there is a friendly face welcoming him."

"Well, given the scowls on Buck and Chris right now, that would let them out." Josiah teased, hoping to lessen some of the tension.

"No problem getting one of us. Issue is going to be keeping the number that no."

The doctor shook his head. "It won't help to overwhelm him Mr. Larabee. One is best, and two at the most."

Chris nodded his understanding. "We'll take care of it. And thanks Doc. I know we can be a little…"

"Intimidating? Overwhelming? Terrifying?" He smiled as he finished Chris's sentence. "That's what friends are for."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Chris settled back in the recliner that had been brought into Ezra's room. He was the last to take a shift on the second day and had agreed to spend the night. He was already wishing he hadn't done so. It had been a long day, taking care of the bureaucracy that seemed to take more and more of his time at work. Forms, reports, requisitions, applications. He was beginning to believe that the bad guys were winning simply because they had less paperwork to complete.

Now, after all that nonsense, he wanted nothing more than a hot shower, a cold beer and a good night's sleep. None of those were forthcoming, although the comfort of the chair had him worried that staying awake was going to be more of an issue that it should. Sighing softly, he reached for the magazine JD had left behind, hoping for the distraction. Wonderful – _Computer_ _World._ That was going to be no help at all.

"Excuse me, but could you tell me if my mother is in the vicinity?"

Chris jumped out of his seat from a powerful combination of shock and relief. "Hey Ezra. Good to see you awake again. Don't try to move to much. You have a concussion. Took a strong hit to the head. And you were having some breathing troubles as well, so you probably feel pretty lousy right now. And to answer your question, no, Maude isn't here. Is she supposed to be? You didn't mention she was visiting."

"Maude? Then you must have made mother's acquaintance. Will she be coming?"

Damn. This wasn't sounding good.

"Yeah Ezra, I know you mother. We've met a couple of times. You don't remember that?"

"I'm sorry sir. I cannot say that I do."

Sir? Double damn.

"Ezra, do you know who I am?"

There was a moment of silence from the bed as Ezra stared at him. Chris was having trouble figuring out what seemed familiar about the expression on his face and the body language Ezra was showing. Familiar, but not at all like Ezra.

He shook his head, wincing at the dizziness the action created. "No. I'm dreadfully sorry. Should I know you? We have been introduced?"

Chris couldn't help but be impressed by how calm Ezra was sounding, all things considered at the moment.

"Yeah, we've been introduced. Quite a while ago actually. My name is Chris Larabee. You work with me." He was surprised by the brief laugh that inspired.

"That's not possible. I don't work. Well, I help mother, but that isn't work. Not really. At least, not the way I expect you mean it." Ezra offered what Chris could only describe as a shy smile, and it was a look that vanished almost as quickly as it appeared. Clearly the ability to hide his emotions was imbedded deeply enough that memory loss hadn't affected it.

"Well, I hate to disagree with you there, but yeah, you work with me. And Vin, and Buck. Josiah? Nathan? JD? Any of those names sound familiar?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Larabee, they do not. Could you tell me why I am here?"

"Like I said Ezra, you got hurt. A head injury, and then you ended up in the water. Scared us all pretty good for a while there, but we got you breathing again."

Chris was glad Ezra was still lying down as he saw the colour blanch away from his face. There was a definite quiver in the voice as well. "In the water? The pier. I fell from the pier. Oh no, I ruined it all didn't I? Mother will be furious. And Mr. Chambers. Oh – are you here for Mr. Chambers? Is he angry with me? I didn't mean to fall. I didn't mean to ruin things. I can fix it. I'll figure out something." Ezra was almost hyperventilating by the time he ran out of energy.

"Easy Ezra. Calm down. You didn't ruin anything. You didn't fall off a pier. You were –" maybe telling him he'd been shot wasn't an ideal plan right now – "hit, fell into a swimming pool. You don't remember that at all?" It was clear Ezra wasn't listening, or at least was recognizing what was being said.

"Please tell him I'm sorry. Please. I can fix this. Please don't let him punish me again." Ezra looked like he was trying to shrink into the bed, and at that moment, Chris recognized the look and the image that was being presented. He hadn't seen if for a few years, but it was unmistakable. Adam had that same look any time he was scared or confused. 'Damn' didn't begin to cover this.

"Ezra, calm down. I promise, no one is going to hurt you. I promise. Ezra, I need you to calm down enough that you can answer a question for me. Can you do that?" He slowly nodded his head. "Ezra, can you tell me how old you are?"

Once again, Chris could see he was being scrutinized as Ezra seemed to be deciding how valid the apparent concern was. He must have passed inspection, because a moment later an almost whispered answer came.

"I shall be 8 years old on my next birthday, which is in 11 weeks."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

 _Note: Before the comments start, I promise you I have read of two verified cases were adults reverted to childhood as the result of head trauma. I fully intend to take medical liberties along the way so, I doubt my version will be close to reality. Nevertheless, I am taking the premise and running with it!_


	2. Chapter 2

"You can't be serious?" Buck sounded every bit as stunned as the rest of them looked. "He thinks he's a kid?"

"How is that even possible?" JD asked. "I mean, he's an adult. Couldn't he see that?"

"Well, he was lying down the whole time, so he never really saw himself. The doctor said it was kind of the way the mind works in a trauma." Chris looked to Nathan, hoping he'd understand what was going on a bit better. To his relief, he was right.

"His mind is basically compensating for what is missing. There was likely enough trauma from the accident to confuse him, and his mind is filling in the blanks by moving him back to a time when something similar happened."

"He said something about falling off a pier." Chris offered.

"So, when he was a kid he fell into the water. If he fell of a pier, he was probably hurt, or at least badly shocked, and that fit the pattern here. His mind took him back to that time."

"But he's not a kid. He's a full-grown man." JD repeated. "Why doesn't that register?"

"Because that isn't the way an injury like this works. The mind finds a way to rationalize, or if necessary ignore things that don't make sense. Don't get me wrong. He is going to question what's going on, and that will likely be soon. And the whole thing is just going to scare him even more. You've got to remember, he's in a place where he not even 8 years old. That isn't exactly a prime period for rational thought."

"I don't know, Nathan." Chris countered. "He seems like he was a pretty calm kid. All manners and decorum. Language was damn close to the way he usually talks too."

Vin looked up when Chris stopped talking. He recognized the tone, and knew something was being held back. "What? What is it you're not telling us?"

"He's – well, he's not a kid."

"We know that."

"Not what I mean Buck. If this is what he was like when he was that age, he's not like any kid I've ever met. Like I said, all manners and fancy language."

"OK, so he's a bit more sophisticated." Vin replied.

"That ain't it. He's a mini-adult. And I get the feeling that was the world he lived in. He was way more worried about whether or not he'd messed things up for Maude and some guy named Chambers than he was about his own situation." He paused, thinking back on Ezra's reaction. "No, not worried. Terrified. That was the only time he sounded really scared. In fact, that was how I knew something was wrong. He reminded –"

Buck finished the thought for him when Chris stumbled over the memory. "He reminded you of Adam."

"Yeah," was the soft reply.

"So," Josiah brought them back to the problem at hand, "what do we do now?"

Nathan shook his head slightly with uncertainty. "That's gonna depend mostly on him. We have to go with it. This isn't a delusion we can try to talk him out of, or a breakdown he can be counselled through. He is a child right now. We have to figure out how to blend the two realities." He turned back to Chris. "What did the doctor say?"

A low growl proceeded the reply. "Nothing that made sense. No idea of how long till he gets past this. Or even if he will, although it sounds like there is a decent chance that will happen eventually."

"And until then?" Josiah asked.

"He thinks Ezra should be sent to a home." The anger in Chris' voice was evident, and the same reaction came from most of the others instantly.

"Not gonna happen." Buck was the loudest. "Ezra's not nuts. You can't lock him up." Vin and JD voiced similar reactions. Nathan was quiet, knowing this was bound to be the medical recommendation, and not really sure that is was the wrong option. Surprisingly, it was Josiah who came to the support of the recommendation, albeit reluctantly.

"What do you propose to do then? Nathan said it - he is, for all practical purposes, a child. While that **might** change, it sounds like we have to face the fact it also might not. He will need to be looked after like any child would."

"And I can do that at the ranch." Chris answered. They all turned to look at him with reactions ranging from shock to concern.

"Really Chris? You aren't the most patient of men when it comes to dealing with Ezra a lot of the time." Vin cautioned.

"What about work? What about the rest of your life?" Nathan added.

"I'll find some kind of care giver. Watch him during the day, do some schooling if he needs that. Maybe some housekeeping stuff to."

"Great idea." Sarcasm dripped from Nathan's voice. "I'll just call and see if Mary Poppins is available." Chris glared as Nathan continued. "This isn't a normal situation. It won't be easy to find someone to handle what you're talking about."

"We can help." JD volunteered. "We can all help, right?"

Chris smiled at the fact he was finally getting some real support.

"Absolutely. I've told him about all of you, and I think he'd like to meet you. It might help him feel more comfortable."

"Don't know that much is going to make him feel comfortable as this reality hits him Chris." Josiah cautioned.

"Well, we'll just have to do the best we can." JD encouraged, as he stood to head out. The others followed, but Buck took Chris's arm and held him back for a minute.

"You sure about this? Do you really know what you're getting into?"

"I am the only one of us experienced with have a young boy around, so I'd say that makes me the most qualified."

Buck saw the look on his friend's face with that comment, and figured he had no choice but to point out the obvious.

"This isn't a second chance Chris. This isn't Adam."

"You think I don't know that." He answered angrily.

"I think you don't want to know that. You've already said Ezra isn't your typical little kid, so if you're expecting him to fill some kind of gap-"

"I'm not. Adam was my son, and he's gone. I don't need to be reminded of that." He took a deep breath. He could see where this was coming from, and hoped Buck was wrong. "Ezra is my friend. I think – hope – I can help. That's all this is."

Buck stared at him for several seconds. "I hope for both of your sakes your are right about this."

"So do I."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

To describe the next 24 hours as chaos didn't really do them justice. Explaining all of this to Ezra was the first obstacle and went about as well as they had expected. He didn't even try to hide the confusion and fear. "How come I'm so big?" He must have asked the question a dozen times. "Why do you know me – I do not know who any of you are?"

"We told you Ezra, we're your friends. You just can't remember meeting us because of your accident." Josiah explained once again, with infinite patience.

"Is this how I am being punished?"

"God, no Ezra." Chris was quick to reassure him. "Why would you think something like that."

"I fell off the pier. I ruined the plans."

Chris was getting increasingly angry at whoever this Chambers guy was for what he had done to Ezra all those years ago. "This isn't because you fell off the pier Ezra. You were hurt doing your job. Remember, I told you that before this happened you were a federal agent? A lawman?"

He scoffed in a manner no child should be capable of. "That is impossible. I could never be – would never be – a lawman." Even showing him his badge and ID didn't resolve the matter, since he couldn't seem to reconcile the adult appearance with the child he saw himself to be.

"Hate to disagree with you son, but that's what you are. Darn good one too."

Ezra looked up at the big man with the warm smile. "Why do you call me 'Son' Mr. Sanchez? Did you marry my mother?"

The smiled faded a bit. "No, nothing like that. Just a way I have of talking. I can try not to do it if it bothers you." Ezra merely shrugged. After a moment, he returned his attention to Chris.

"May I ask another question sir?"

"You don't need permission for that. I can guess you'd have a lot of questions you'd like answers to."

"Why are you all here? If I am not in trouble for whatever caused this predicament, why are there so many police officers interest in me?" He tried to make it sound like idle curiosity, but there was an undertone of trepidation to his voice that couldn't be hidden.

"Well now, there are a couple of reasons for that Ez." Buck tried to give a reassuring smile.

"Please, it is Ezra, not Ez."

"Oh, you never liked the short form then. OK. Like I was saying, Ezra, there are a couple of reasons. Main one is that you're our friend, like we've been telling you. We kinda hope to help you remember that."

"And we figure you probably aren't having much fun stuck here in the hospital, so we figured we could keep you company." JD added, smiling broadly and hoping that his discomfort with all the weirdness wasn't obvious.

Ezra brought his hand to his mouth, starting to chew on a fingernail before he remembered he wasn't supposed to do that. Of course, without his mother there to comment, he likely wasn't going to be reprimanded for it, but it was still a habit to stay away from. He only fell back on it when he was confused and anxious, and that certainly described his current state. There had to be more to this than what they were describing. No one devoted time and energy in the way these men had without an ulterior motive.

"Now, on the subject of being in the hospital, how would you feel about leaving?" Vin asked.

"I would like that very much." Hopefully that meant his mother was on her way, and he could return to the life he was used to. Then he remembered the reality again. He wasn't a little boy waiting to go home. "How is it possible. Where would I go?"

"Well, if it would be ok with you, I thought you could come and stay with me for little while." Chris had given this a lot of thought since the first discussion with the team. There was no way he was letting anyone put Ezra in some kind of institution. He didn't need to be there. And even it that had been the only option, there was still the concern about Talbot. He was crazy enough to try to make sure no one would be able to testify against him, and if that meant killing an ATF agent, Chris was sure he'd have no qualms about it. In his current state, Ezra was far too vulnerable.

"Why would you make such an offer?"

Clearly, young Ezra was not used to the generosity of others. "Because we want to help. I have a big ranch with lots of room. Do you like horses?"

Ezra shrugged again. "I don't know. I've never been on one."

"Well, I've got one out there I think you are going to get along with."

"There is something you are not telling me. There is more going on than you are sharing." Ezra knew in his heart this was true. He also knew he might be pushing this man a little more than he should, so added with as much respect as he could "Sir."

"A little bit. I'm not going to lie to you. I don't want you to be afraid, but when you got hurt you were chasing after some bad people. You know things that could put them in prison, and they don't want that to happen."

Buck nodded. "And we want to make sure that you are safe from them."

"So, your job is to protect me? That's **really** why you are here?" He knew it. It made much more sense.

"Well, sort of. But there's more to it." Chris was worried that they were losing what little trust they'd managed to build up. "I know this is confusing for you. Hell, it's confusing for all of us. Ezra, don't you have any friends?"

He looked genuinely puzzled by the question. "What do you mean by friends?" Now it was Chris's turn to be puzzled.

"Come on Ezra, you know what friends are."

"Yes, of course. There are several people I spend time with."

"But do you have fun?"

"I – I suppose so."

"Do you like them?"

He nodded, his lip quivering ever so slightly. Chris hated to ask the next question but had to. "Do they like you Ezra?" There was no answer. "Because if they don't, if they just use you to help them get things or do things, well then they aren't your friends."

"But you want me to help you get something, someone. You want me to help you get the man you want to arrest."

"Yes Ezra. We need your help. But that isn't why we want you around. If you can't help us, if you don't remember, that's okay. I still want you to come out and stay at the ranch. At least for a little bit so we can see how things work out. That sound OK to you?"

It wasn't what he wanted, but then he really didn't know exactly what he did want. Or if that really mattered given the circumstances. And one of the first lessons he had learned from his mother was that when you had no other options, you accepted the best deal that was offered. He nodded his head slowly. "Yes, that sounds like an excellent suggestion."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7


	3. Chapter 3

After lengthy debate it was decided that Ezra would likely be far less overwhelmed by his situation if just he and Chris made the trip to the ranch. Actually, it wasn't so much decided as it was dictated when Chris put an end to the discussion. He also declared that the adjustment period was going to last for the first 48 hours. The others hated the idea of staying away that long, but reluctantly acknowledged it was probably for the best. They spent their time trying to track leads on Talbot, but he had gone deeply to ground. They did pick up on the disturbing fact that a handsome bounty was being offered to anyone who took Ezra out of the picture, strengthening their resolve to bring this all to a conclusion sooner rather than later.

As frustrating as they all found the 48-hour wait, they were in paradise compared to Chris.

Ezra as an adult could be crafty, contrary and on occasion, devious. Of course, he would assure you it was all meant in good spirits. As a child, there were multiple levels of incongruity and confusion to deal with. Chris knew that none of what was happening was deliberate. No seven-year-old could possibly be that Machiavellian. Not even a Standish.

He reminded himself how confusing this had to be for the agent-turned-second-grader. And how educational it could be for him to get some insight into just what created the adult he had come to know. He had to remind himself of all that quite often. Ezra was constantly seeking out information. He was looking into everything he could, asking questions about everything he saw. And not the usual questions one would expect from a kid.

"Mr. Larabee, is this a working ranch? I would imagine such a project could be quite profitable."

"It's not something I make money from Ezra."

The response was greeted by a puzzled look. "Then why would you do it? It must be an expensive property to run."

"It can be. But I lease out a lot of the land for grazing and that covers most of the costs. I keep the ranch because I enjoy it. I like living out here." The puzzled expression did not fade away. Clearly mastery of the poker face came a bit later in Ezra's life.

"How can you enjoy something that isn't profitable?"

"Don't you do anything just for fun Ezra? Play games or sports?"

"I am not very good at sports. I tend to get injured with somewhat discouraging regularity."

 _What do you know?_ Chris thought. _Some things never change_.

"You must do something just for fun."

"I enjoy reading. Would that count?"

"Sure would." Chris tried to remember what he had done with Adam's books. Many of them would likely be to young for Ezra to enjoy, but there could be a few gems in the collection. "What kind of stories? Westerns? Superheroes? Bet you like the Hardy Boys! I might have some the those around."

"I prefer history books, and biographies. Fiction is somewhat of a waste of time and energy." _Oh, Lord. He really didn't know how to have fun_. "Do you have any books of that type?"

"Um, not sure. I can look some." His own taste in reading didn't follow those lines, but he thought Josiah might have something. If not, maybe a quick trip to the library could be arranged. "Might have a few magazines around if that helps."

"Yes, those might do."

"Ezra, don't be offended now, but how good are you at reading? I don't want to give you something over your head."

"I learned to read at a very young age." Chris had to fight not to laugh at that one. "I can read most any book you have, especially if you have a good dictionary I could reference." Chris didn't think he'd known was a dictionary was when he was that age and wasn't entirely sure he had one in the house now.

"I'll get the guys to bring something for you."

There wasn't too much beyond reading that seem to catch young Ezra's interest. He did settle in front of the TV for a bit, but never found anything that really grabbed is attention. He begged off on helping with the chores, claiming to be still tired from his "ordeal". Chris wasn't certain of how much truth there was in that but didn't want to risk pushing matters.

It was on the second day after lunch that Chris decided to reunite Ezra with Chaucer. If anything might spur a recollection, that would be the most likely possibility. Ezra stood at the barn door, unwilling to step further inside.

"They are very large animals. I don't think children should be allowed inside."

"You aren't a child Ezra. And you know these horses. More importantly, they know you. You are perfectly safe."

"It's quite dirty. And – aromatic."

"You'll get used to in. Come on."

Reluctantly he followed along behind as he was led to Chaucer's stall. He took a step back when the horse moved forward.

"Yes – very large animals." He watched for a minute. "But there is something gentle about him too. You say he knows me?"

"He's your horse Ezra." There was evident disbelief at that comment. "Seriously. Your horse."

"Why on earth would I own a horse? I want to have a sports car when I am old enough. I mean, I wanted to have a sports car when I got old enough, and since I am, why don't I?"

Chris smiled at the bewilderment. "You do. And you have a horse. Why? Because you like to ride, and you and Chaucer here make a very unique team."

"Something cannot be **very** unique Mr. Larabee. It is unique, or it is not. There are no degrees of unique."

"My apologies."

"Chaucer? Like the author? Canterbury Tales? How wonderful." He took a few hesitant steps forward, reaching out cautiously. "Hello Chaucer."

He pulled his hand back quickly in reaction to the whiney and the sudden head movement.

"Hang on a minute Ezra. Here." Chris handed him a couple of peppermint treats from a jar in the tack room. "These are his favorite."

"Won't he bite me?"

"Put them in your palm and hold your hand out. You probably will barely feel him take them."

"Remarkable." He marvelled when the prediction came true. "Do you suppose he might allow me to pet him."

"He'll allow you to ride him if you want."

"Oh, my. No. I don't know how. Do I?"

"You're a natural. And I am willing to bet your body will remember how, even if you can't really remember. How about it? Want to try?"

Ezra nodded shyly. "I think I would like to – yes."

"OK – well we can't go to far, but even just around the corral here will make a good start."

They spent the rest of the afternoon riding and grooming. It was only the extreme fatigue from his still recovering body that finally forced him inside for the evening.

"We can do this again tomorrow Ezra. Chaucer's not going anywhere."

By the time the rest of the team showed up after dinner, they were far to late. There was a palpable disappointment when they discovered Ezra had already settled in for the night.

"He's beat." Chris informed them. "Spent most of the day with Chaucer. Damned if that horse doesn't get that something isn't right."

"He's always good with Ezra." JD observed.

"This was more than that. It's like Chaucer knew something was wrong with him. Let him take his time to get comfortable. Once he did, I had a hell of a time getting him to come back inside. Then, he practically fell asleep at the table, so I sent him up to bed. Frankly, we can both use the rest."

"Bit more of a handful than you were expecting?" Josiah asked, knowing the answer.

Chris nodded reluctantly, looking at Buck. "You were sure right about one thing. He's not Adam."

Buck grinned at the frustration evident in Chris's tone and muted glare. "We talking to a sequel to _Problem Child_ , or more like _The Omen_?"

"Neither. In fact, the opposite. Ezra the seven-year-old is almost exactly the same as Ezra the adult." Buck raised an eyebrow, so Chris explained. "You've heard him. He's got damn near the same vocabulary. He's unnaturally sure of himself, at least on the outside. He can hide just about every emotion, thought or intention. And he is completely impossible to reason with."

"You sure he still thinks he's a kid?" Vin asked. "That sounds like our Ezra."

"Oh, he's a kid. A million questions, and each answer leads to another one. Then he apologizes for what he says is squandering my precious and limited time on such trivial and selfish concerns." Chris shook his head sadly. "The one thing I can tell you is that he's afraid. Thinks he's hiding it, and he tries, but I can tell."

"Well not surprising. Kid in a grown-up body, confused and probably feeling damned lost."

"That's only part of the problem Josiah. He's afraid he's causing trouble. That he's in the way. Keeps apologizing for being here. Pretty obvious that he spends – spent – most of his childhood trying to please the grown-ups."

JD looked puzzled. "What's the big deal? Most kids want to impress grown-ups, especially at that age."

Chris nodded. "I get that, but the thing is Adam, for example, got excited when we were happy with something and bummed when we weren't. Ezra is more like relieved than happy, and when I forget what's going on and get a little short with him, he gets real quiet and tense. Like he thinks the world is about to crash in on him."

Vin cleared his throat softly. "Just what is your definition of a little short Chris? You can scare just about anyone when you cut loose."

"Trust me, it ain't that. Ezra is scared half to death about screwing up. Could see it when he woke up in the hospital too. Get the feeling he faced pretty severe consequences in the past."

"Well that's just not right." JD protested.

"Sure as hell isn't," Buck agreed. "You think he can get past that?"

"I'm trying, but it's a long road. I don't know how to reach him. I'm beginning to have my doubts about this whole idea. I can't get through to him. Not sure if I can handle all of this. It's only been a couple of days, and I feel so far in over my head I can't even see out anymore."

"You knew this wasn't going to be easy." Nathan reminded him.

"But I never figured on it being this hard. I can't get a read on him. He may be almost eight years old in his mind, but he's not like any kid I've ever known. No sports, no games."

"Yeah. He wasn't even interested in my video games at the hospital. What's with that?"

"Well, for one thing, he's not familiar with them. Don't forget JD, if and when he was playing them, the games were Mario Brothers and Zelda, not the stuff you have now."

"But still, most kids want to try something new."

"What about board games?"

"Checkers?" Buck wondered aloud.

"I'm betting it would more likely be something like chess." Josiah offered.

Vin grinned. "Nope. But you just said the magic word." The others looked at him in confusion. "Betting. **I'm** willing to bet you put a deck of cards in front of him and you'll see an entirely different Ezra."

"Or, more likely, a very familiar one." Nathan agreed.

It was all Chris could do not to give himself a slap on the head. "How did I miss something that obvious?"

"Because you're still adapting to thinking of Ezra like a kid." Josiah looked around. "We all are. It might be easiest for everyone if we could think of him as a slightly less experienced adult."

"In some ways that might work, but in other ways not at all. For one thing, he's got a lot of stress for a seven-year-old. Add in the little boy in a man's body and it surprising he hasn't had some kind of a nervous break by now. I know I'm getting there."

"Things that hard?"

"No Nathan, not really hard. Just weird. I mean, you look at him and it's so easy to forget what is going through. But then he asks a question or gets that scared look and he is just a little kid."

"You thought about how this could play out?" Buck's voice was soft.

"Yeah." He got a faraway look for a moment and no one spoke. "Kinda hard not to think about it. He's not giving any sign yet that this is going to go away."

"It may not Chris. He may have to grow up all over again. You need to decide now if that is something you can handle?" Nathan couldn't see the point in pulling punches. "Can you deal with that – all that means?"

"Don't really know. I didn't want to admit it, but you were right Buck. Part of me thought, maybe hoped, it might be sort of like having Adam back. Obviously not the same, but familiar."

"And?" Vin prodded when Chris went silent.

"It's not even close. I mean sure, there are moments, but this is night and day. I don't know what's gonna happen next. Like I said, I sure don't know how to deal with any of this."

"We all know that at the best of times, Ezra can be a challenge." Nathan added, trying to be supportive.

"No, that's not it. Not in the way we're use to. It's the situation that's the challenge, not him. If anything, he's trying too hard."

"What about when he gets older. As a teenager?"

"God, that's hard enough in normal circumstances. But a teenager's libido and brain in the body of an adult. Capital 'T' trouble." Buck couldn't help but smile as he spoke, thinking back on his own teen years.

"Doesn't matter. None of it does." Chris took a deep breath and squared his shoulders back. "Bottom line, this is no different than any other family crisis. And I'll just have to figure out how to deal with things as they come up."

"You got that right." JD encouraged.

"No, he got it wrong." Josiah countered. Chris turned to glare and was off put by the smile in the big man's face. "You don't deal with it. We deal with it. Team, family, call it whatever you want, but we do this together."

Chris smiled with gratitude, feeling suddenly as if the weight, while not lifted from his shoulders, had at least been distributed. They sat quietly for some time, enjoying the peace and quiet with the only sound being the ice in their glasses.

"Now, what say we leave Chris to get some rest and we can work on starting to sort things out in the morning. You coming into the office?" Vin asked. They all began moving to the door.

"Yeah, I took your advice. Nettie said she could come over for the day and keep an eye on things. We'll all come back out for dinner with him." He grinned, remembering the conversation. "Said she do some cooking and baking for us while she was here." He reached to open the door, but his hand froze when he noticed it was already open.

"Guys, didn't I close this when you got here?"

"Thought so. Maybe it didn't latch?"

Chris had a sinking feeling that went right to the floor. Without speaking he ran towards Ezra's room, the others close on his heels.

"Damn. Damn. Damn it!"

The bed was empty, the closet door ajar. Several empty hangers were visible. Buck was the first to see the note, but Josiah was closest to it.

 _I did not intend to be a burden, or a challenge. I do not wish to make your life difficult. Thank you for what you have tried to do._

"That's not the note of a seven-year-old kid."

"No JD, but it is the note of seven-year-old Ezra. He must've been awake and heard us." Chris was heading toward the door.

"Hold up Chris, we can't just charge out blindly. He's been gone a while. We would have heard the door if it'd been the last half hour."

"Great. It's dark, and he doesn't know the area."

"Okay, so we start with lights. The brightest you've got. And turn on everything outside. He might be scared enough out there to come back."

"No, not a chance. Whatever else he may be afraid of, nothing scares him more than disappointing grown-ups. Messing up their plans."

"Chris, what you've got to remember, he's not a little kid. Anyone looking at him is going to assume he's an adult in every sense, so it's doubtful any but is gonna try to take advantage."

"But you're forgetting part of the reason we've got him out here is that Talbot is still looking to get him. Ezra can't protect himself against that. Hell, against anything."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7


	4. Chapter 4

Ezra sat near the road side, well protected from the lights of any passing cars. Not that there were many to hide from. So far, he'd seen only two go by, and it had been close to 30 minutes since the last one. From this vantage, he could watch the house he left behind. That's all it was, a house. Not a home as he dared to dream last night as he lay in the bedroom that had been fixed up for him. Granted, it wasn't exactly his style, but the old West motif had its own appeal. Maybe, he thought when he'd seen what had been set up just for him, just maybe he'd found some where he belonged.

He should have known better, and he did when he heard Mr. Larabee tonight. _Have my doubts. Can't get through to him. Can't handle all of this. Over my head._ The words he'd heard echoed in his head. He was mad at himself for being so naive. _You sure were being stupid. Nobody wanted you the first time you were a kid, you're an even more trouble now. Grown-up body and a little kid's brain. Who'd want that around?_ He berated himself, fighting back the tears.

 _Crying is weak Ezra._ That's what mother always said. He didn't care as he leaned his head back against the tree and let the tears fall, knowing now as he always had, that no one could see them in the dark.

He sat up straight as the house lit up. That had to mean they found the note. That wasn't supposed to happen yet. He thought he'd have until morning. Not that he knew what he was going to do at sunrise. It's not like he could saddle up and ride off, although he was surprised by how wonderful he thought that would be. If only he'd been able to find out where his mother was, then he'd at least have an option.

He giggled, and immediately silenced himself. What would she say at his current circumstance? He couldn't see her wanting to be around him now. Even he didn't want to be around himself now. Apparently, nobody did.

He could see the flashlights cutting into the darkness. Yes, they had started looking for him. There was only one reason anyone looked for you at night like this. He was going to be in such big trouble if he was found. He didn't want to believe these grown-ups would hurt him. These men seem different. But Mr. Larabee got mad so easily. And some of the others were so – well – big. More than big. He just couldn't take the chance.

Ezra huddled in the shrubs. He had to constantly remind himself he was not as small as he thought he was, and as such was easier to spot. He glared at the full moon, which he thought seem to have a malicious look of glee on its face at being able to cause cast so much light on his escape effort.

He could still hear them calling for him. Saying he wasn't in trouble. He'd heard that before and had paid the price for believing it. He fought off the new round of tears he could sense were coming, still angry at himself for thinking this time was going to be different. Each time he dared to hope things might get better, reality reminded him that was not meant to be in his case.

Mother's new boyfriends, uncles, family, friends. It never mattered. They never wanted him around. It's not like they were **all** cruel to him, but it never took long before he realized he didn't belong; wasn't welcomed. Why on earth did he let these men fool him into believing otherwise this time?

True, they seem different as they sat with him at the hospital. Genuine in ways he couldn't remember experiencing before. They joked and laughed with him, not at him. They answered his questions with unbelievable patience, for the most part. And coming out here, to Mr. Larabee's home! He was being allowed into their world rather being kept at arm's length. They cared. For the first time, he thought someone cared.

He fell for it, and it was all his own fault. No one ever really meant it, he knew that. There was always an angle. Always a hidden reason. This was no different. He could give them something. He could testify against – well he had no idea who. So how could he help when he didn't remember? He was too messed up to help anybody and it was apparent that they had figured that out. It certainly explained why they were fed up with him. He had, as always, become more trouble than he was worth.

"Ezra, you need to come back." That was Mr. Sanchez. He sounded like he was getting closer. He also sounded different. Not smiling and friendly the way he usually was. He was anxious, maybe even scared. That didn't make any sense.

"Any luck Josiah?" Mr. Jackson was approaching.

"No sign of him. It's getting too dark. Vin would have better luck tracking if we could just see our way around."

"Chris is going crazy. He's never gonna forgive himself if something happens."

"Don't think any of us will."

"It's funny. As an adult Ezra could get under my skin and rile me faster than anyone I've ever met, and even now, with all that happened, when I look at him, I get that same sense. But at this moment, all I can think about is that in his head, he's just a scared little boy."

"I know exactly what you mean. You know he only drives you crazy because you let him. If he thought for a minute it was really bothering you, really hurting you, he'd drop the routine in a heartbeat."

"Yeah, but I have to admit at this point I'd miss it. I know, because I've missed it since all this crap started."

"Tell me you guys have found something."

 _Oh no, Mr. Larabee was here now. They were all getting too close_.

"No. I was just hoping he'd come up to the road and try to get a ride, but I don't see any sign."

"God, you don't think he'd get into some stranger's car?" Chris was newly alarmed by the mere thought.

"Can't imagine anyone picking up an adult on a dark country road, can you?"

Chris let out a small sigh. "My brain keeps thinking he's a kid and jumps to all the god-awful things that could happen to him."

Ezra couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. This had to be some kind of trick. They were trying to lure him out. It was the only explanation, After all, it couldn't be that they really meant any of this.

He could hear a car coming up the drive. Maybe they were going to leave? Leave him alone out here?

"JD checked the barn, no luck." _Wonderful. Now Mr. Wilmington had joined the group_. "And Vin is seeing if he can find any clue anywhere. I was figuring I'd try driving around a bit."

"I suppose it's worth a shot." Chris was sounding as desperate and dejected as any of them could remember.

"What about calling the local cops Chris? Get out more searchers."

 _No_ , Ezra thought in a surge of panic. _Police always mean trouble_.

"I'd rather not. If Talbot has anybody on his payroll, and odds are he does, an APB would notify him where Ezra is. We have enough trouble now. We can't take the chance on anything happening to him. We just can't take that chance."

 _Of course not,_ Ezra thought _._ They needed him to testify. Will that would never happen. One lesson he learned young is that you never turned on anyone. An informants life was a short life.

"Chris, he'll be okay. Ezra is a survivor." _Darn right I am_ , he thought, beginning to enjoy this eavesdropping.

"The adult is. The kid – I'm not so sure. He gets this look sometimes like he's carrying the world on his shoulders. No kid should feel like that. I just want…"

"What Chris?" Josiah coaxed.

"I want to make him feel better. Feel safe. I just don't know if I can." His voice caught as he finished.

 _That can't be right. That just can't be true, can it?_ Ezra didn't know if he was wondering that because he wanted it to be true or because some voice inside him was saying maybe it was time to trust. Either way, he knew he had to make his decision. There were going to be consequences for all of this. But just maybe this time it would be worth it. Ezra swallowed hard, praying he wasn't going to regret his new plan. Hoping for once he could trust his instinct.

He slowly and quietly called out from the shrubbery. He could see them now, standing at the end of the drive around the pickup truck, looking the other way. Part of him wanted to duck back down. Hide until morning and then run as far as he could. But a bigger part, a stronger voice, made him stand tall.

"I would like to come back if I could."

They turned as one. Chris let out a soft cry and Josiah burst into a grin and started toward him. They were all blinded by the sudden lights from the road as a car started up, moving forward at high speed.

"Shit – get down! Everybody, get down!" Buck had seen it first – the glint of metal protruding from the car's window. Josiah charged forward, grabbing Ezra around the waist and pulling him down. Chris reached for his gun before realizing he wasn't armed. Buck pulled a rifle from the truck's gun rack and tossed it toward him, tossing the second to Nathan an instant later.

"Josiah, get Ezra into the truck" he called, starting the vehicle again. Josiah half dragged a horrified and fear-paralyzed Ezra over to the driveway, lifting him into the flat bed and covering him. Buck slammed the truck into reverse and sped backwards down the driveway.

A second vehicle had followed the first, firing at the truck and the men who were now firing back. Both vehicles sped off into the night.

Chris and Nathan turned to each other. "You hurt?" they both asked simultaneously. That served as the answer, and they rushed back to the house.

"It's okay Ezra. You can sit up now." Josiah was speaking softly to the trembling figure who refused to move. "It's over. You're OK."

He shook his head violently. Vin had joined them, and he and Buck were trying to calm him as well.

"Come on Ezra. Let's get inside. We could all use a drink." Vin glared at Buck. "What? I meant like a hot chocolate or something."

"I am too much trouble."

"You're not in trouble Ezra." Josiah try to reassure him.

"Not **in** trouble. I **am** trouble." Buck climbed in and put an arm around him. "Ah hell Ezra. We're all just trouble looking for a place to happen. You fit right in." He guided him off the back of the truck and led him inside. Vin stepped over to block Chris's path.

"Give him a minute or two to calm down. Buck and Josiah will get him settled."

"He's okay?"

"Scared shitless. Probably literally. But he's not hurt."

Chris allowed himself to relax for a minute, catching his breath. "Nathan, call the cops before the neighbours do. Then go into town to explain this."

"That should be easy." He grinned as he slipped behind the wheel of the truck, pulling out his cell phone to call before heading out.

Chris took a deep breath, sidestepped Vin, and stalked into the house and over toward where Ezra stood.

Seeing him there opened the floodgates. "What in the name of God were you thinking? Of all the jackass moves you've ever pulled, this one is right at the top of the list. You could have got yourself killed!" Chris was barely taking the time to breathe as he let loose all his pent-up anger and fear. He paced the room, not looking at Ezra and not really hearing the others calling his name. He turned in his pacing, ready to let loose with another volley when he found his path blocked by a seriously pissed off looking Buck.

"Shut the hell up Chris." His voice was quiet, but the tone was threatening. Chris moved to step around him and found himself grabbed by the arms and spun around. Suddenly he was facing Ezra, and what he saw made him almost physically ill. The agent he was yelling at wasn't there. The scared – no, more like terrified – face of a child was in front of him, head bowed, tears running down his cheeks. He was fighting so hard not to shake that Chris was suddenly afraid he might actually break.

"Oh damn. Ezra, I'm sorry. Ezra, I didn't -. Damn." Josiah moved next to Ezra, gently taking his arm. "Come on Ezra, I'll take you back to your room." He didn't budge. He didn't even waver, still looking up through hooded eyes at Chris.

"Go Ezra. Go with Josiah. I'll be there in a couple of minutes to take care of you." Ezra paled even further, but he was so disheveled and shaken that it went unnoticed. He turned and followed Josiah, cautiously pulling his arm away from the big man's soft grip.

"What the fuck do you think you were doing?" Buck growled again, forcing himself not to yell. Ezra didn't need another grown-up losing his cool.

"I - I don't know. I was just so damn scared. It was - Oh God Buck, I was sure he was gonna die out there."

Buck rubbed his hands over his face, temper fading as quickly as it had appeared. "We were all scared Chris. But you can't do that to him."

"I know. I just - I see the adult and hear the kid and I just don't know what to do about any of it. This was a stupid idea."

"No. It wasn't." Vin spoke softly as he corrected him. "It's one of the bravest things I've ever seen anyone do. But it's got a steep learning curve Chris. And this right here, this is the most important lesson."

"I know. Look, I'm gonna go check on him. You guys call Travis and fill him in."

"JD is already on it. We'll handle that, you just take care of what you need to do."

Chris slowly walked down the hall, trying to collect his thoughts and emotions enough to deal with this latest mess. He looked up to see Josiah leaning against the wall across from Ezra's room, watching the closed door.

"Said he could get himself ready for you. I didn't think it was a good idea to question him on that."

"I don't know if I'm ready for him."

"You never really have been before, but it's always worked out. Your heart is in the right place Chris."

"Yeah, but my foot is in my mouth - again." Josiah smiled and turned to leave as Chris open the door. The gasp and low growl had him turning back instantly. He felt the blood drain from his face as he saw what had floored Chris.

Ezra knelt next to the bed, wearing only his boxers, hands held fast behind his back, his head stopping just short of touching anything. His legs were crossed at his ankles, making it that much more difficult to hold his position. But he did. It was a strain, but he didn't move. On the bed, coiled neatly in front of him, were two belts; one wide, one narrow. Chris was paralyzed by rage at the scenario, and the all too obvious implication that this was not the first time Ezra had prepared himself for a beating.

The others had noticed the activity and moved to see what was happening. Chris heard them coming, and it was enough to bring him back to reality. "Stop them Josiah. Don't let them see him. See this." He swallowed hard, trying to remember to breathe.

"Chris?"

"I'm fine, just stop them." Josiah stepped back, quietly closing the door.

"Is Ezra alright?" "What's going on?"

Josiah's look and demeanour silenced them. "It's okay. Well, no, it's not okay, but it will be. God, I need a drink."

Chris took quiet, slow steps toward Ezra, trying to figure out what to say. Before he could figure it out, a tiny trembling voice was heard. "I didn't know what you would want, wide or narrow. I'm sorry. I found both. I'm sorry."

Chris lost it. He dropped beside Ezra, pulling the blanket from the bed at the same time. He carefully wrapped it around the trembling form, seeing for the first time the faint, faded scars that marked his back. Some trailed down below the waist of his boxers, and Chris again had to fight the reflexive clenching of his gut.

"No Ezra. No belts. Ever. Do you understand me? That will never happen to you again. Ezra, look at me."

Ezra turned his head, fear still evident but obviously conditioned to obey in the situation. "Do you want me to find a switch?" He hesitated, terror evident. "Or a cane?"

"Good God no. No beatings Ezra. Never again. Ever." He slowly reached out, wrapping an arm around the trembling shoulders and cautiously pulling Ezra closer to him. "That never should have happened to you, and I won't let it happen again."

"But I was bad. I disobeyed."

"And we can talk about that. But that's all. Talking, not hitting. Can you understand that Ezra?"

The trembling continued, but the tension seemed to be fading from the younger man. "I – I think so." Chris continued to hold him until he was calmer, then carefully stood up.

"Ezra, I want you to get ready for bed. You've had a rough evening." He tossed the pyjamas onto the bed, grabbing the belts away at the same time. "I'll be back in a couple of minutes." He couldn't believe he was sounding so calm and normal about things. "Don't forget to brush your teeth," he added, pulling the door closed gently.

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7


	5. Chapter 5

He took four steps away from the door and collapsed back against the wall, sucking in deep breaths to steady himself. When he could hear Ezra moving, he headed down the hallway, not wanting to appear to be spying when Ezra came out to wash up. He got to the living room to be greeted in silence by a visibly shaken Vin.

"Where are the others?"

"Cooling off. Buck's splitting firewood. Imagine you have about a year's worth before he calms down. And Josiah's moving hay bales. Or building you a new stable. He's doing something out there." Vin stopped, realizing he was starting to ramble.

"JD?"

"He's at the computer. Not sure why. Chris?" Vin's voice was tight with tension. "How bad?"

"Bad enough. He's trying to act like he's okay now, but he isn't. Did you ever notice scars on his back?"

Vin thought for a moment. "Can't say that I really ever saw his back. Tends to keep it turned, even in the locker room, now that you mention it."

"They're faint. Like whoever did this made a point of stopping before it went to deep. Stopped short of leaving anything permanent."

"They're permanent Chris. Even if they're invisible." Chris just nodded.

They sat in silence for several minutes, jumping slightly at the soft voice from the hall. "I'm ready to go to bed now, if that's alright."

"Sure Ezra." Chris started to stand, but Vin was faster.

"I got this. Come on Pard. I'll get you settled for the night." Ezra looked over to Chris, who nodded his approval. How had he failed to notice how skittish Ezra had become?

Vin watched as Ezra quietly climbed back into bed. "You need anything else for the night?" He barely shook his head. Vin wanted nothing more than to offer the comfort he so clearly needed, but was worried about moving to fast. "You know if you need anything – anything at all, you can talk to one of us. Right?" A small shrug answered. "I know all this is scary for you. It is for us too. That's why we all stick together. You understand?"

"Why?"

"Why? Why what?"

"Why do you care about what happens to me?"

Vin felt like he'd been punched. "Why do we – you're our friend." He saw the small shake of his head in response. "Yes Ezra, you are."

"I was."

"You are. Fact that you got hurt, confused, doesn't change a thing and you need our help. Can't tell you the number of times you've been there for one of us. Now it's our chance to return the favour." Ezra didn't look convinced as he leaned back, pulling the covers higher.

Vin sighed to himself. "Ezra, I don't know how else to say it, so I guess we're just gonna have to keep showing you. You get some sleep now." He gave his friend a soft pat on the shoulder and left, switching the light off as he closed the door. He didn't see Ezra tense up further in the darkness. 

"Don't JD." The young agent jumped in his seat. He had been far too focused to hear Chris approach.

"Don't what? Don't try to figure this out? Don't try to find the bastard that hurt Ezra? He was just a little kid Chris."

"Exactly. For all we know that bastard is dead by now."

"Or alive and hurting some other kid."

"Maybe. And we will find that out. But not going behind his back. I'll talk to Ezra tomorrow and figure out what he can tell us. Until then, let it go."

"But Chris –"

"JD, what are you going to do? We can't go after him legally. Ezra won't exactly be a credible witness right now, will he? I don't want to add any more stress into his world. He's got more than enough going on. Besides, even if we find him, we can't really kill the bastard, no matter how satisfying that might be."

"We could give him a taste of his own medicine though." Josiah had come back inside.

"Can we just deal with one crisis at a time? Put this one on the back burner for the moment?" Both men nodded reluctantly. "Okay. And will one of you please get Buck back in here. Chopping wood at this time of night is going to piss off the neighbours."

"More than a gun fight did?" Chris shrugged as JD stood up to go get Buck.

"Chris wants you back inside."

"Not ready." Buck was breathing heavily from the exertion. The pile of split logs at his feet was expanding rapidly.

"Is this helping?"

"Some. Picture the monster's face on each log when I hit it."

"Well, that explains the force. How do you know what he looks like?"

"For the moment it's just a blank face. Sort of a cartoon villain. Making it up, but it works for now."

"Chris said we can't go after him. At least, not yet."

"Yeah, figured as much. We'll get to it."

"Absolutely." Neither man needed to discuss the details.

"You need to come in Buck. We need to be together to talk about all this."

"What is there to talk about?" He raised the hatchet again.

"How to help Ezra."

"Why didn't you say that in the first place?" He slammed the blade into the stump and they headed inside. Chris was waiting by the door, with a towel and a beer.

"Feel better?"

"Getting there."

They gathered in the game room, far enough away from Ezra so as not to disturb him with their conversation if he woke up. They needn't have worried about it, as they quickly found there was little to say. Nathan returned, and updated them on the police investigation – such as it was.

"They haven't got much to go on, but Travis called. The ATF will be taking over the case. It's not going to be us working on it though." Chris was about to object when he realized Travis was right. Being out in the field was not the best use of their skills right now.

"Any idea who he'll be assigning?"

"Connor's team." Chris smiled. Connor was smart, and the team was good. Damn good.

Nathan was, in turn, briefed on what had happened earlier and had much the same reaction as every other team member did. Once he calmed down to an acceptable level, conversation faded out again, with each man left to his own thoughts, most of which are focused on revenge scenarios.

The shriek from Ezra's room shattered the silence and galvanized the team to action. Chris and Buck were first through the door, guns at the ready. Both pulled up on their weapons when they saw no intruder. Ezra was huddled at the head of his bed, cowering in a crouched position.

"No. No. Please don't. I'll be good. Don't!" He was choking as he gasped.

"Ezra! Ezra, calm down." Chris ran to the bed, stopping just before reaching out. Visions of Adam's nightmare moments flashed into his mind. He forced himself to sound calm. "Wake-up. It's da- It's Chris. Ezra, wake up." He reached out and gently touching Ezra's arm. The result was another shriek, as he pulled away and tumbled to the floor. He awoke instantly, still gasping and buried his face in his hands. "No. No. No." Chris circled and squatted beside him. "Ezra, it's okay. It was a dream. You're alright."

"No. He's here. He comes when it's dark. He's here."

"It's not dark now Ezra. The lights are on. Nobody's here except your friends." Ezra cautiously peered out from behind his hands. He felt instant shame for his actions. This would never do. He'd be in trouble, again.

"I – I – I – am – sor - sor –." He couldn't stop sobbing. Chris abandoned any concerns over appearance or propriety and pulled him into a hug.

"Shhhh. Shhhh Ezra. You've got nothing to be sorry about. You did nothing wrong. You understand me. Nothing wrong."

Josiah herded the others out, silencing any protests with a threatening glare. "Leave him to Chris. He doesn't need us watching."

Chris loosened his grip a little bit, but didn't let Ezra go. He had no idea how much time passed before he realized Ezra had fallen asleep again. They were still on the floor, Ezra's head now resting on Chris's shoulder. It was quite possibly the most uncomfortable posture he'd ever sat in, and he stayed that way for the night.

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Chris woke up still on the floor as light streamed through the window. Ezra had shifted over at some point and was stretched on the rug beside the bed. Trying not to disturb him, Chris rose and crept quietly from the room. Once clear, he stretched out aching muscles, knowing that a hot shower was likely going to be the only thing that would allow him to survive the day.

That, and a large cup of the coffee that he could smell brewing in the kitchen. Deciding that was the first priority, he made his way toward the tantalizing aroma.

Vin held the cup out for him as he entered, grinning at the faint grimace that crossed Chris's face. "Relax. I'm only serving. Nathan made it before he left." Chris gratefully took the offered ambrosia

"He sleep?"

"Seems to have. Moved around a bit but was quiet." He noted a look of guilt in Vin's eyes. "What do you think you did?"

"Don't think. Know. I turned off the lights on him Chris. He sees monsters in the dark, and I turned off the damned lights."

"You didn't know. Hell, I didn't know."

"But I did know Chris. Just didn't make the connection. He still doesn't like the dark. Couple of times when we shared a hotel room on stakeouts or at some conference or another, he always left a light on. Said it was in case we need to get moving in a hurry, but I guess that was just for show."

"The man has a unique ability for keeping secrets." Josiah commented as he entered the room.

"Not hard to see where all that came from. Was terrified by the idea of letting me know who did this to him. Likely was threatened with worse." The sound of a door opening down the hall stopped the conversation. Chris looked up, smiling at the still sleepy looking Ezra who was doing his best to appear like nothing it happened the night before.

"Good morning gentlemen." He spoke softly.

"Hey there Ezra. You ready for some breakfast? I'll get your coff – your juice."

"Yes, thank you. That would be appreciated Mr. Tanner."

"I wish I could get you to call me Vin."

"But referring to you as Mr. Tanner is a sign of respect."

"Calling me Vin is a sign of friendship."

Ezra smiled shyly. "Well then, I think I should like to call you Vin."

"Go get yourself cleaned up and dressed Ezra. After breakfast, we have to have us a little talk." Chris tried to keep his tone moderated, but even allowing for that, Ezra still had a moment of panic crossed his face. "You're not in trouble Ezra. We just have to get a few things straightened out."

"I shall be back down shortly." He took a few steps away, then turned back. "I promise I won't try to run away again." He turned back and left the room quickly.

Breakfast passed with awkward conversation at the table. Nathan, JD and Buck weren't there, having gone into the office to brief agent Connor on the details of the previous day's attack. They wanted to make sure he had all the relevant information to get his investigation underway. The rest of the team sat around the breakfast table, talking about everything under the sun, except for what was foremost in their minds.

After they'd finished, Vin and Josiah found convenient excuses to slip away for a while, leaving Chris the opportunity to talk to Ezra.

"We need to talk about what happened yesterday Ezra. And before you start worrying too much, I can promise you it wasn't all your fault." Ezra looks stunned by the suggestion. "What, you didn't think adults could be responsible for making mistakes?"

"Be responsible, yes. Admit responsibility? Not in my experience."

"I said it was partially my fault Ezra. Not totally. Why did you run away like that?" Ezra was uncharacteristically quiet. "Ezra, you need to be honest with me. No making up excuses."

"Because I am too much trouble. Again."

"Again?"

"I am frequently told I am too much trouble, and then I am sent away again."

Chris reminded himself he needed to keep his temper under control. None of this was Ezra's fault. But if he ever got his hands on the people who were responsible, it was not going to be pretty. "Where were you sent Ezra?" Again, he didn't want to answer. "Ezra?"

"Away. To be with others. Sometimes a foster home, but usually a family member." Chris could see the panic starting again. The small tremors were back. "Don't get upset Ezra. I'm not sending you anywhere."

"You said I was more than you could handle. Everyone always says that. I don't mean to be. I really don't."

"I'm sure you don't. When you heard me say that, well you only heard part of the conversation. I'm not going to lie to you. This is hard. For me, for the team. And it's hard for you to. Sometimes, it gets frustrating and I don't know if I can do what's best for you. That's when I say stupid things like what you heard."

"I don't mean to make it hard."

"That isn't your fault Ezra. That's the most important thing for you to remember. Nobody blames you for what happened. You didn't want to get hurt, and you certainly didn't want all this craziness. Nobody's mad at you because of that."

"Then why are you all mad?"

"We're not. Well, not really. I wish you hadn't run off, but I'm mostly mad at myself about that." The look he was getting made it clear that this was a new idea to Ezra. "I should have been more patient and trying to explain everything to you Ezra. I know how confused I am by what's going on, but I can't even imagine what it's like to be living with it the way you are. I shouldn't get mad when you keep asking questions. That's how you learn. But sometimes, I look at you and I see the grown-up Ezra and remember how much pleasure you would take in teasing me and trying to get me going."

"That would have been very rude behaviour on my part."

"No Ezra. You weren't being mean. It was just your way of keeping me from getting too high and mighty. At least, that's what you told me." He smiled, but Ezra didn't.

"If I wasn't here, things would be easier for you, wouldn't they?"

Chris almost laughed but was afraid young Ezra wouldn't understand. "There are a lot of ways my life would be easier without you. But, there are a lot more ways it would be so much harder. And I guarantee you, it would be a lot less interesting. And a lot less fun."

"So, it's a good thing?"

"Overall, a very good thing." He was still determined to get a smile in return.

"Mr. Larabee –"

"Now if you have agreed to call Vin by his first name you really should be calling me Chris."

"Yes, I suppose that's true. Chris, you said part of this was your fault?"

"Well, aside from the fact that I shouldn't have said what I did, the real problem is that I'm not that good at holding onto my temper, and it sometimes gets the best of me. And when that happens – well it's not a good thing. Because I yell, and that's wrong."

"Is that why you yelled at me last night?" he asked timidly.

"Sort of. That was more getting scared. I was mad that you ran off Ezra, but I was even more scared by it."

"Grown-ups don't get scared."

"The hell we don't." Ezra grinned slightly, and Chris remembered the situation. "The heck we don't."

"You were scared because of the men who want to hurt me?"

"Yes, and because it was dark, and you don't really know your way around here. There were just so many things that might've gone wrong. I was scared something bad was going to happen to you."

"It's funny. I was scared of the very the same thing, which is why I ran away."

Chris softened his tone. "When you were sent away before, is that when you got beaten?"

Ezra flinched at the word and started to pull back. "No Ezra, you can't do that now. You have to tell me. If you do, then it will be over."

"No. If I do he will hurt me. Kill me. Kill mother. Please don't make me say anything."

"All right Ezra. We don't have to talk now, but I need you to think about one thing. You're not that little boy anymore – remember?"

The look on Ezra's face showed that reality had completely slipped his mind. "That man can't hurt you now Ezra."

"That doesn't feel possible."

"But knowing that, can you tell me now who it is? I guarantee you, I won't let them hurt you or Maude. Or anybody else."

"Grandfather," he whispered. Chris's heart felt of his stomach. Grandparents were supposed to spoil you and buy you candy and take you out of school to go fishing. They weren't supposed to leave scars on your back, and your soul.

"Maude's father?" Ezra started to nod but stopped. "Stepfather," he corrected.

"Okay. I'm going to make sure he never hurts anyone else."

Ezra looked frightened again. "You aren't going to hurt him, are you?" Chris found it hard to understand why he would care. "If you hurt him, they will punish you. And it will be my fault. That wouldn't be right."

He was beginning to wonder if there was anything Ezra was incapable of finding a way to blame himself for. "I promise you. We won't do anything to get anyone in trouble." _Assuming JD doesn't get caught hacking and we don't get charged with violating this past its privacy,_ he added to himself. He hoped it had been to himself. Ezra was looking at him as if he knew exactly what he'd been thinking. It was time to regain control of this conversation.

"Okay, the way I see this is we each have a little problem to work on. I yell when I get scared or worried and you run away. So, what say we both try our damned – darnedest to stop doing that?" Chris sat patiently for a moment, giving Ezra a chance to review the proposal, an action he took very seriously. He solemnly stuck out his hand and looked Chris in the eye. "Agreed, sir."

Chris fought every instinct to laugh as he shook the offered hand.

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7


	6. Chapter 6

Ezra sat quietly in the large chair in the corner of the den, staring out at the stables. He had been strictly forbidden from going out to visit the Chaucer and it had taken no small amount of convincing to assure him this was not punishment but was for his own protection. It didn't stop him from pouting about it though.

"I do not believe any harm would befall me if I just took a quick look –"

"For the last time Ezra, it's not going to happen. I know you want to see Chaucer, but we can't take that chance until we get the area checked over." Buck was beginning to understand why Chris had been so frustrated. Explaining logic to Ezra had never been much of an issue in the past but this was a different story. Petulant was not a word he would have used before, but it was certainly appropriate now. It was going to be a very long afternoon if he couldn't come up with some way to keep them occupied.

"Want to play some cards?" Ezra tore his gaze away from the stables and looked up. He was instantly torn between continuing to mope or taking the opportunity for a card game. "Are you suggesting something which might prove lucrative?"

"Lucrative?"

"Profitable. Moneymaking."

"Yes Ezra. I know what it means. Why do you?"

He gave Buck a look of mild confusion. "Why would I do not know the word?"

"Just saying, most seven-year –"

"I am almost eight."

"Sorry, most almost eight-year-olds aren't using the kind of words you do."

"Mother has always encouraged me to expand my vocabulary."

"What else does your mother encouraged you to do?" He couldn't help but wonder how honest the answer would be.

"Primarily, to take full advantage of whatever circumstance or opportunity presents itself." _Well that doesn't sound too bad_. Buck thought. "And to succeed at whatever the cost." _Spoke too soon_.

"That sounds a little self-serving."

Ezra shrugged. "Survival and success are the only things that matter."

"What about morality, or friendship?"

"What about them?"

"Don't they matter?"

"Not in the scheme of things. She also taught me how to pick pockets and play poker. And on that subject, can we play cards now?" He grinned impishly as he handed Buck back his wallet.

Buck knew he had to put aside the anger that was building toward all the so-called role models that it played a role in Ezra's life. It was no small wonder that as an adult he had developed so many issues.

"Don't be doing that again." He fought the urge to check inside it as he slipped the wallet back into his pocket. "Well, I don't think poker is a very good idea, I don't remember to many other games. Been a long time since I played 'Go fish'."

Ezra wrinkled his forehead with displeasure at the suggestion. "Of course we can't play poker with only two people. I was thinking perhaps a game of Gin. Penny a point?" Ezra offered the alternative, wondering how much of his grown-up self's bank account he could access.

"Chris would skin me alive for gambling with you." Buck chuckled.

"Then it would be best if he didn't find out."

"Oh, he always finds out. How about 'crazy eights'?"

"Well, if that is the best you can propose." He watched as Ezra picked up the deck and started shuffling. He didn't know if that was muscle memory or a skill Ezra had learned at that age, but it was evident he had at least found a way to keep the 'youngster' entertained.

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That evening was a much quieter one. Chris had worked late, but not too late to join Ezra for dinner, along with Buck and Josiah. It was decided that having everyone there might prove to be a little too much stimulation, and they all hoped Ezra would have a better sleep than he had the night before. They passed the time playing cards, repeatedly vetoing Ezra's poker suggestion until the time came for bed. Ezra sparred with Chris over the timing, indicating that as an adult, he didn't have a bedtime.

"No, but as a seven – sorry – eight-year-old, you do. And don't tell me it's not fair – I don't want to hear it." He smiled at the scowl. With clear reluctance, Ezra left the room.

"Think he'll be okay tonight?" Josiah asked quietly.

"I sure hope so. He needs to rest."

"So do you." Buck noted. "Don't deny it."

"You're looking a little frayed around the edges yourself."

"Well let's just say I have a better understanding of what you were talking about yesterday. Having said that, I have to add that today was the most fun I've had in quite a while – that didn't involve a lady."

"Glad you enjoyed it, because tomorrow you're back at work. I'll stay home for the day, and Nettie said she'd be dropping by. Something about having too many cookies at home."

"Yeah, I can see where that would be a problem for her." Josiah laughed.

"Cookies?" Ezra poked his head around the corner. "Are there refreshments?"

"Not tonight." Chris admonished with a wide grin. "Pretty sure you and Buck have already had more than your share of sweets for the day. Come on, I'll get you settled in."

Ezra began fidgeting quietly. "There is no need to trouble yourself. I will be fine."

"I know you will. It's no trouble. Come on."

Chris followed a few steps behind and stopped to grab a bag from the front hall on his way. By the time he got to the room, Ezra had already climbed into bed. It didn't take any special observation skills to see the stress already building.

"Hang on. Before you get to comfortable, I have something for you."

"But it isn't my birthday yet."

"I know that. I got you something, while just because I wanted to. It's what people do Ezra." _Not in my experience_ , he thought but remained quiet as he reached out a hand to take the bag. He opened it slowly and seemed puzzled.

"It's a nightlight Ezra. You can make it as bright as you need to. It has this remote thing so you can fiddle with it, without having to get out of bed."

"I am sorry to be so much trouble."

"What? This? This isn't trouble Ezra. This is just a good idea. I got one for my room too."

"To allow you to turn the lights on when I start screaming." He lowered his head as he spoke.

"Stop it. None of this is your fault, so just stop. Understand? We aren't going to have this discussion again." He watched a shy smile come to Ezra's face as he settled under the covers.

"Thank you for the light."

"You're welcome. Sleep well Ezra."

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"You sure he thinks he's just seven years old? Seems pretty much like the fancy talker I've always known."

"I am almost 8 years old, appearances the contrary Ma'am."

"Well then, growing boys need to sit down and finish a proper lunch before eyeing my cookie jar anymore." Nettie replied with a severity in her voice that did not match the sparkle in her eyes.

"Neither am I a growing boy. Interesting dilemma, isn't it?" Ezra smiled slyly as he worked to finish off his grilled cheese sandwich.

Nettie wiped her hands on the dishtowel. "Seriously Chris? Just seven?"

"I know Nettie. Keeps us all on our toes."

"That was an excellent sandwich Mrs. Wells. I am anxious to confirm that your cookies are every bit as good."

She laughed. "Thank you, Ezra. I think you'll be pleased." She grinned as she put a couple of cookies on a plate for him, refilling his milk glass at the same time. The contrast of man and boy reflected in a man who was already the embodiment of contradiction was truly something to see. And it was readily apparent Ezra was just as much of a challenge to Chris now as he had ever been before.

She been watching him repeatedly shift his gaze out the window. "I'd be happy to stay here for a bit of you have someone else to be Chris."

"No, thanks. That's not it." He nodded slightly toward Ezra and then tilted his head to suggest they take the discussion elsewhere.

"He is watching to make sure that the men who want to hurt me don't come back." Ezra said calmly before downing half his milk and reaching with glee for his second cookie.

Chris shook his head in wonderment. He nodded his confirmation to Nettie, who in turn looked to Ezra with concern.

"Well that sounds like it would be pretty scary to me."

"No, not really. Not as much as some things."

"Well I can guarantee you I'd be mighty scared." Nettie continued, hoping to assure Ezra it was alright to be afraid. Chris could only imagine what her reaction would be if she'd seen exactly how Ezra handled his fears, or knew what he really was afraid of.

"I'm not afraid. I'm perfectly safe. Chris won't let anything happen to me, and neither will any of the others. Do you know why?"

Nettie knew exactly why, but she was curious as to how Ezra would interpret it, so she shook her head.

"Because they are my friends."

Chris gulped down his coffee, grateful that the hot beverage provided the excuse he needed for the glistening in his eyes.

Nettie smiled softly. "Yes. And aren't you all so very lucky."

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Vin strolled into the kitchen late in the afternoon with a wide smile as a greeting for Nettie. "I'd give you a hug if my arms weren't full."

"You can give me a hug after you put all that paperwork down. Looks like you brought home half the office."

"Feels like I brought home half the office. How's he doing?"

"I think he's going a little crazy being trapped inside."

"He told us he wasn't all that keen on playing outdoors. I don't he's all that keen on playing period." Ezra seemed to take life far too seriously to actually know how to enjoy himself.

"Well no matter what the age, he does appear to enjoy being contrary. The moment you tell him he can't go outside, there is nothing he wants to do more."

"So, what **is** he doing?"

"He settled down in the den again. He went in there was some of those books Chris brought back for him from the library. He's been quiet since."

"Well I'm sure he'll come running when dinner is called. It smells great Nettie."

"It's nothing special, but I know you boys. Once you get to working, you tend to forget about little things like eating. I put a few things in the freezer for you as well. And I'm counting on you to make sure he eats properly."

"You do realize he's not a little boy, right?"

"Yes, but that doesn't mean I have to stop worrying."

Vin gave her a quick peck on the cheek, then headed over to the den.

"What are you reading Ezra?"

"One of the books Chris brought back for me. It is very interesting. All about the old West and some of the people who helped to settle Colorado."

"You like history?"

"We learn from history. We learned not to repeat mistakes."

"Well, that's always good. You mind if I do a bit of work in here while you're reading?"

"Of course not. I can go elsewhere if I'm disturbing you." He started to rise.

"You were in here first Ezra, no need to run off." Vin pulled the chair out from the desk and dropped into it as he signed into the computer. There were a few things he hated more than writing reports, but at least here he could relax while he worked. He always seemed to end up with a headache when he had to do it at the office.

He typed away for about 15 minutes, looking up and trying to correct all the underlined words that the computer insisted on pointing out as his mistakes.

"Were you aware that you can have the computer fix those for you?" Vin nearly jumped out of his skin. He'd been too focused to notice Ezra, who now peered over his shoulder. "I would have thought that would be automatic."

"It was, until I had JD remove the feature."

"Why? You obviously need the help. You aren't a very good typist."

Vin smiled at the innocent tactlessness that was so unlike Ezra. "It's not my typing that needs to work. It's the spelling. I have a few problems, and this helps me learn."

Ezra stood quietly reading the report and watching Vin work. It was a bit unnerving, and Vin was just about to comment when Ezra spoke again. "You get the letters backwards. There's a word for that, but I can't recall it. My cousin has the same issue. It must be most annoying."

"The word is dyslexia. And yeah, it is. And it means I really have to concentrate Ezra, so if you don't mind…"

"It would probably help if you change the colour of your screen. Jefferson found it easier when the screen was a pale green colour. And when he used a plainer font. I don't know why, but he did."

"Really? That's kind of weird."

"Yes, it is, isn't it?" Ezra cleared his throat self-consciously. "I remember a few other things he used to do. I sometimes helped him with his efforts. If you would like, I could share the suggestions with you." Vin took a closer look and could tell Ezra was getting upset and hoped this wasn't triggering another bad memory.

"I appreciate the thought Ezra, but not if it's going to upset you."

"No. It's not that. I was rude, and I am very sorry." Vin just looked at him. "I said you were a bad typist and a bad speller. That was impolite, and just mean."

"No Ezra, it was true. And maybe you could have said it a little nicer, but I know you didn't intend to be mean."

"You are a very smart man. You all are. I should have known better."

"Ezra, as it as hard as it is for all of us to remember, you're just a kid right now. How about you try remembering that too and let yourself off on this."

"You are not angry with me, or hurt?"

"No. Not angry or hurt. But I am curious. I'd love to hear some of those tricks you're talking about."

Ezra smiled widely. "And I would like very much to share them with you."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

 _In case anyone is interested, there is a very good web-site I have found beneficial in helping out a friend with dyslexia. Just google_ working-with-dyslexia


	7. Chapter 7

_Five days later_

"Well good morning sleepyhead." Josiah greeted with the grin becoming broader when he saw Ezra grimace at the designation. "You ready for some breakfast?"

Ezra nodded without speaking, which dimmed Josiah's smile a bit. The past few days, Ezra had been much more relaxed around the team. He continued to maintain some of the formality that clearly had been well conditioned from an early age, but the manner had been far more natural. He couldn't help but wonder if the silence reflected another bad night of restless sleep.

"Got any preferences? Cereal, eggs, juice?"

"I believe coffee would be the preferred beverage."

That brought the smile back. "I'm pretty sure Chris talked to you about that. No coffee, remember?"

"Mr. Larabee is hardly in a position to be dictating my beverage selections, and unless Mr. Jackson has placed a restriction on my caffeine intake, which I will concede is a possibility based on this atrocious headache, then I will, as is my custom, start the day with coffee."

Josiah had stopped moving about halfway through the response. Buck and JD, both close enough to have heard, slowly walked into the kitchen, staring. JD's mouth hung wide open.

Ezra glanced downward for an instant. "Well, I am clothed, my review in the mirror showed nothing unusual and I am reasonably certain I was speaking in a coherent manner. Which begs the question, what are you all staring at?"

"Ezra? Is it really you? You're back!" JD shouted out the last comment, then turned and ran back to the patio door. "Chris! Vin! He's back! Ezra's back."

Ezra took a couple of quick steps away as Buck charged at him, but it wasn't fast enough to avoid the bearhug that threatened to cracked ribs. JD bounced around the room like a kid at Christmas, and Josiah muttered "praise be" over and over. The arrival of Chris and Vin only added to the confusion. Ezra finally raise his hand, unable to sort out, or tolerate, the cacophony of celebration surrounding him.

"Gentlemen, please. I believe I mentioned a hellacious headache? Would one of you care to explain what was meant by 'I'm back'? I was away?"

"Oh man, were you ever." JD answered.

Chris intervened before anything else was added. "You said a headache Ezra. You okay? Dizzy? You need anything?"

"Coffee, aspirin, and an explanation. A chair might be a good idea as well."

A few minutes later they had settled into the living room. Ezra struggled to avoid fidgeting under the intense scrutiny he was subjected to. None of them had taken their eyes off him, with the exception of a brief reprieve from Chris when he made a couple of short phone calls.

"Not trying to torture you Ezra." They all jumped slightly when Chris spoke. "I want to wait for Nathan to get here before we talk about this. He was already on his way, so should be just a couple more minutes." Ezra merely nodded, knowing he'd be wasting his breath to challenge the decision.

"You called the judge?" Buck asked.

"Yeah. He's keeping everything quiet for the moment. No point in risking anybody else finding out about this – development."

"Risk?" Ezra asked. "Development? Do you really think it is fair that everyone else is aware of what is going on, given that I appear to be at the centre of it all?" The sound of a car arriving saved Chris from having to stall any further.

"No, it isn't. Give me two minutes to talk to Nathan, and we'll fill you in. Get comfortable Ezra. This is going to be a bit strange."

Thirty minutes later Ezra sat in stunned silence. Normally, it would have been a source of great humour to see him so totally speechless, but right now they all sat waiting anxiously for him to say something. Anything.

He'd had questions when they started. Had anyone else been hurt? Had they caught the bastards? When they told Ezra he'd been unconscious in a swimming pool and needed to be revived, he blanched.

"Take it easy Ezra." Nathan recognized the reaction. "We found out later this wasn't the first time that had happened."

"Found out precisely how?"

"You told us, sort of." Chris answered awkwardly. "Bear with us Ezra, we're getting there." He filled in more of the details, including the main event. That was when Ezra went quiet. Too quiet. There was no panic, no denial, no effort to brush off everything the way he usually did when things got personal. This was simply nothing.

Chris continued to speak, going slowly enough to allow Ezra to stop him at any point. It didn't take an expert to see the man was having difficulty processing all of this, and Nathan and Josiah watched closely for the first indications that it was all too much. Most of the specifics were left out of the recounting, including any of the nightmares and subsequent discussions. Chris had no doubt that would shatter the resolve Ezra was fighting so hard to maintain.

Ezra finally let out a deep breath, rubbing his neck repeatedly to loosen the tension. He hazarded taking his eyes off the neutral point in the room he had fastened on and glanced at Nathan. "Is it over? Since I am, as Mr. Dunne phrased it, 'back', do I need to concern myself with the possibility the situation could change again?"

"The mind is pretty hard thing to predict Ezra, but I'd have to say the chances are pretty slim. You had a perfect storm with your head injury, oxygen deprivation, and traumatic sensory memory. Odds of all that coming together again, well like I said - real slim."

"So, it will not prevent me from returning to work?" That was a question they hadn't expected, at least not yet.

"No Ezra. There's no reason to worry about that."

"Excellent. In that case I believe we all are somewhat behind schedule at this point. And I'm certain Judge Travis will have something to say about that. At least this time he will be correct in putting the blame on me."

"Whoa there. No one's going anywhere." Chris stood to counter Ezra's effort to leave. "In the first place, it's Saturday and we have no open case to deal with. In the second –"

Ezra interrupted. "I thought you said Talbot and his minions were not arrested. That would make this an open case, would it not?"

"Not our case." Buck answered cautiously, fairly certain of the reaction, and he was right.

"Not our case? After weeks of work it damn sure is our case. This – diversion – is nothing."

"Hell of a lot more than a diversion Ezra." Vin replied. "And if you let Chris finish, we can work it out after."

"In the second place," Chris continued as if nothing had happened, "Judge Travis said he'd be coming out here to talk about where we go next with this. I'm pretty sure he has something in mind, and I'm every bit as sure were not going to like it. He'll be here around lunch, so that gives us some time to relax a bit."

"Ezra?" JD spoke for the first time since they started explaining things. "Don't you have any questions about all of this?"

 _Damn! Don't rock the boat kid,_ Buck thought.

"None." Ezra responded. "And a million. I'm not really sure where to start Mr. Dunne."

"Can I ask you one then?" Ezra nodded. "Why are you calling us all mister again? Thought we broke you of that habit ages ago." Ezra looked surprised. "I was not aware I had reverted to that behaviour."

"Think it might be a bit of residue from the experience." Josiah offered. "You were pretty formal with us most of the time."

"Yes, that would fit with my behavioural patterns at the time." Ezra shuddered inwardly, recalling some of the other behavioural patterns at that point in his life. "If you gentlemen have no objections, I think I need a few moments to process this information. I would like to finish dressing, and perhaps take a short walk." He turned to leave, but again had his path blocked.

"There's a problem there Ezra. Like we said, Talbot got away. He knows you're the only damning witness, and really would like to take care of that problem."

"Already tried to kill you once Ezra." They all glared at Buck. "What? He has the right to know."

"So, I am a prisoner until – what? The trial, his arrest, his appeals? When did we begin to lock ourselves up because of such a perceived threat?"

"Steady there Pard. You're not a prisoner. You just need to be patient for a bit while we figure out where we go from here."

Ezra nodded tersely, feeling the need to get out of there intensifying. "Please gentlemen. Give me some time. Please."

"Whenever you're ready," Chris answered. Ezra nodded, and headed back to his room.

"He's not taking this well." Vin frowned.

"I don't know," Buck argued. "Seems fairly calm to me."

"Exactly. Wouldn't you be freaking out, at least a little? Asking questions?"

Josiah shook his head. "That's not his way Vin. Like he said, needs some time to figure on this. Probably a lot of second-guessing going on about now."

"What do we do, just wait?"

"And watch." Josiah had slipped into his profiler mindset. "Thinking about what happened one thing. Brooding is something else altogether."

Ezra didn't come out of his room until he heard Travis arrive. He braced himself for another round of observation as he put on his best game face to greet the judge.

"Good to have you back Standish. Now, here is what we're going to do about this." Ezra was beyond grateful to get straight to business. "Talked to the DA and he is ready to file charges now that Standish can testify. But we're not going to let it be known quite yet that that's the reason. What is going out that we **think** he'll be able to. Give some time to get that news out to interested parties."

"You're not thinking about using him like some kind of bait in a trap?" It may have been a question, but it sounded much more like an accusation.

"Yes Larabee, that's exactly what I have in mind."

"With all due respect," Buck said, with no respect to his tone whatsoever, "are you all crazy?"

"He's just barely recovered. You don't know what that kind of stress might do. Or what could happen if he gets hurt again." Nathan added, negating the exact assurances he'd given Ezra earlier.

"I've already spoken to his doctor. And he assures me a relapse is highly unlikely."

"Unlikely, but not impossible. You've got no right to be asking this of him." Vin agreed with the team.

"Asking me?" Ezra's voice was much less calm than his manner presented. "I'm sorry, did **anybody** ask me anything? Did anyone acknowledge that I was even still in the room?" He turned to stare at Larabee. "While I appreciate the concern and its basis for existence, I do believe I am more than capable of speaking for myself. And of doing the job that I am, to the best of my knowledge, still employed at. It appears I must remind you all that I am not a child. At least, not anymore."

"Dammit Ezra," Chris growled softly, knowing he'd been properly put in his place.

"Now **that** is the Chris Larabee I know." Ezra smiled as he settled back in his seat. "Shall we work out the details gentlemen?"

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

Evening settled in as Ezra watched the sunset from the back deck. He wanted, for any number of reasons, to go home for the remainder of the weekend. But given the trap they were setting, it was sadly not an option. The team had done their best to give him the privacy he needed to readjust to his life, but concern overwhelmed good judgment. Chris finally banished them for the evening, sending them all off to have a long dinner out, adding that only Nathan and Vin should return. That was as much to keep up appearances as it was any real need for their presence.

It had been decided that Ezra should stay at the house and indoors to keep the pretense of his continued incapacitation going, as they were fairly certain the house was still under surveillance. He'd threatened to abandon the entire venture if he was not allowed to at least check on Chaucer, even if a ride was out of the question. The hour he spent there did more to lift his spirits than anything else had that day. From where he sat now, he could see into the barn, and he watched his friend munching away at dinner.

"Please Chris, feel free to join me. This is your home. You shouldn't feel restricted from going wherever you choose." He'd tolerated the sense of concerned supervision for several minutes before surrendering.

"Sorry Ezra. Not trying to intrude."

"Yes, I know. Everyone is trying to do what's best for me. It is both wonderfully reassuring and exceedingly annoying."

"Now you know how I feel about you most days." That actually got a smile from Ezra.

"I have been attempting to determine how best to express my deep gratitude for what all have you have done for me over the past several days."

"No need."

"Oh, I am quite certain that there is. I can well envision what it would have been like for you to deal with the unusual force that was Ezra Standish – the child."

"Well, won't deny you were interesting."

"As I recall, the terms 'hellion', 'terror' and 'troublemaker' were all used quite often by those involved in my care. I also have a recollection of the use of "enfant terrible' on one occasion." This smile was less sincere.

Chris was taken aback by the descriptions. "Not the way we saw things. You could no doubt have your moments, but you certainly were not exactly a standard issue seven-year-old. Or, as you kept insisting, almost eight-year-old."

"No, my training and education would assuredly have placed me outside of the norm. Out of curiosity, how many times did I pick your pocket?"

This time it was Chris smiling. "You never tried on me. Got Buck and JD a few times, and I think all of the others at least once. Always gave whatever you took right back though."

"Ah, so I was merely grandstanding."

"You were merely being a kid. Didn't do that in too many other ways. Like I said, hardly typical."

Ezra's face reflected some concern. "I feel I should be offering you a further apology. I have no doubt it was a difficult experience to have a child, a young boy, in your life again. I am sorry for whatever memories I have stirred in you."

"Don't be. Yeah, it was more than a little weird, but it was kinda nice too. Strange, but it let me think about stuff with Adam in a new way. It's like now I can remember the good times without having them overwhelmed by the bad."

"It is reassuring to confirm something positive has been gained through the experience." Ezra's voice sounded tired, and his thoughts appeared to be drifting away again.

"How are you really doing with all of this?"

He brought his focus back. "I have every confidence in the plan and its execution."

"Well, that's nice, and I think you know that's not what I was asking."

"Yes, I do. But it is the only question I am prepared at this point to provide an answer for. I have the uneasy feeling that a great deal of what I have tried to hold private no longer is."

"Won't deny that either. Why did you feel you needed to hide all that from us Ezra? I mean, I get that it wouldn't have been too easy, but you have to know we'd all be there for you."

"I don't doubt that Chris, but to the method to casually bring out the fact that one was physically and sexually abused as a child does not have a social protocol that I am familiar with."

Chris did his best not to react, but obviously failed miserably. Ezra went pale. "That is not the issue you were aware of?"

"Not all of it. Saw the scars. On your back. You got into a bit of trouble at one point, and I told you I was gonna come in and deal with you. That clearly meant to different things to us. I came in and you kneeling, ready to be whipped. Dear God Ezra. There was more?"

"That was grandfather." Ezra's voice was ever so slightly tinged with sadness, but mostly it was simply resignation. "Definitely a proponent of 'spare the rod and spoil the child'."

"And the rest?" Ezra looked away, focusing his eyes again into the stable.

"The rest doesn't matter."

"The hell it doesn't. What if the bastard it is still hurting someone?"

"He is dead. Has been for several years. And to answer the question ricocheting through your mind, not by my hand, satisfying as that would have been."

"He was the monster in the dark." The news the man was dead did little to abate Chris's rage.

"I made you aware of his presence then. Yes, he was the monster. He is the reason that to this day I leave the light on it night. How pathetic is that?"

"Not pathetic Ezra. Don't you dare start doing that to yourself. Have you ever talked about this?"

"To whom? A counsellor? A psychiatrist? Good Lord, no. What would be gained?"

"Well, maybe the ability to turn off that light."

Ezra shook his head slightly. "This really isn't a matter I wish to discuss any further than to offer my deepest apologies for any discomfort that it has caused you."

"Don't be stupid Ezra. Yeah, I'm mad, and disgusted, and close to homicidal. But not at you. Not by you. You know as well as I do that you were a victim here, and there wasn't a damn thing to apologize for. And the only discomfort I have was from a sore back the night I held onto you when you cried yourself to sleep on the floor. How the hell did I not see there was so much more going on?"

It was Ezra's turn to stare dumbfounded. _Oh shit_ , Chris thought. _That was more than he needed to hear right now_.

"You held – I slept on – wait." He took a calming breath that didn't even come close to achieving its purpose. "I slept on the floor and allowed you to hold on to me?"

"You were having a nightmare Ezra. It was the only thing that seemed to settle you. I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable." This discussion was miles beyond unchartered territory for him, and Chris was desperately wishing Nathan or Josiah was here to help before he made things irreversibly worse. He looked to Ezra and was startled to see a faint smile.

"Young Ezra was clearly a better judge of character than the supposedly wiser and more mature version is. He trusted you Chris. I trusted you. Many a person in my life has left because I couldn't bring myself to spend the night. I generally don't sleep well, if at all, when anyone else is even in the room. And yet, that boy trusted you enough to let you comfort him."

Chris made sure Ezra was looking at him before he replied. "I just hope the grown-up version can remember that, if he ever needs to talk."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7


	8. Chapter 8

JD tapped lightly on the door frame to the den. "Mind if I come in Ezra?"

 _More than anything_ , he thought to himself. He was not certain he could handle any more concern or consolations. But that was not the image he wanted to project at this point. "Of course not. Please, join me."

Ezra had once again been staring out, watching as Chris went about the morning routine with the horses. He didn't get to take care of them as often as he'd like, so when he was home instead of at work, he took advantage of the opportunity. Normally, Ezra would have loved to have joined him. Today though, he used the excuse that it likely still wasn't safe for him to be wandering outside. The truth was, he didn't feel all that comfortable around Chris after last night's discussion, and he had little doubt that the feeling was mutual.

"Buck and Vin are getting everything set up for when we take you home this afternoon. Guess you're looking forward to things getting back to normal."

"You have to remember JD, for me nothing has been abnormal. I have no recollection of the past days, or of what transpired during the period. But I will concede I am anxious to resume my customary practices and to re-establish myself in my own domicile."

JD grinned. "Good hearing those words coming from you as a grown-up again. It was kinda weird when we were thinking of you as a kid to hear it."

"Sadly, I always was more that a tad precocious. I trust I caused you no unwarranted difficulties?"

"Aside from picking my pocket a few times and beating the pants off me playing gin – nah. All good."

"Gin. My heavens, it has been years since I dealt that game out."

"Well, you haven't forgotten how to play. Or rather, you hadn't forgotten…Ah hell, you know what I mean."

"Yes, I believe I do. You say I was successful in our competition?"

"Sure were. Can't beat you at poker, and now I owe you $12.73 from gin."

Ezra grinned for the first time that day. "No doubt young Ezra was pleased by the result."

JD wished he could match Ezra's grin, or at least be good enough at bluffing to agree with him. "Actually, you - he wasn't. Kept apologizing for winning. I couldn't figure out why."

Ezra faltered slightly. He had sincerely hoped those quirks from his childhood had failed to manifest, but clearly, he hadn't been that lucky. "I learned quite early in my life that there were times it was safer to lose than to win. It was a lesson I had a great deal of trouble with, as it does tend be contrary to all my instincts and basic nature."

"Guess I should be saying sorry now Ezra. Didn't mean to bring up something that would get you upset, especially when you've got so much else on your mind today."

"Nonsense." He chose to dismiss the matter, hoping JD would do the same. "So, did you pay me the funds, or shall I add it to the balance I am sure to claim on our next poker soiree?"

"I still owe you. You didn't seem to want to take the money when we were playing." JD licked his lips as he stalled, trying to figure the best way to say what he was thinking. He knew Ezra might not want to hear it, but he felt he needed to say it regardless.

"Ezra, I know you well enough to know you hate talking about yourself, and I guess now we have a bit better idea why." He rushed ahead, not giving the other man a chance to stop him. "All I want to say, and then I won't bring it up again, is that I wish you hadn't gone through all that crap. No kid should ever be hit like that. It just sucks, and if I could figure out a way to make it better, I would."

"Trust me JD, you just did."

7-7-7-7-7-7-7

If the first raid had gone as well as the second had, things would have been so much easier. Word hit the streets, courtesy of some well-placed informants, that Ezra Standish was now home and ready to testify. Within an hour of the time he'd been escorted home and then, in theory, left on his own, four gunmen broke into his apartment. They were greeted by the entire team, weapons drawn and aim steady. Another team blocked their exit. Ezra took great pleasure in cuffing a snarling Talbot himself.

"Should've made sure you were dead when I shoved you into that pool."

"Yes, you should have. Tragically wasted opportunity. And thank you so much for the unsolicited confession."

Now, less than a week later, in light of the evidence, statements, witness reports, not to mention the willingness of his own men to turn on him to avoid federal attempted murder charges, he was desperately trying to negotiate a deal. A deal that no one was accepting.

The hardest part of that week had been watching the inexplicable tension building between Chris and Ezra. In what should've been the best week they'd had in a while, their silences grew larger and louder each day, and the rest of the team was at a loss to understand.

Chris remained unwilling to accept Ezra's dismissal of everything that had come to light in the past days. He repeatedly insisted that his agent would not be allowed to return to work until he'd been given a clean bill of health from both a medical doctor and crisis counsellor. Ezra steadfastly refused to make appointments with either professional. It was only when Travis insisted on the medical clearance that he reluctantly agreed to that step of the process. But he still fought on an almost daily basis with Chris over a psychological evaluation.

It all came to a head on the sixth day when Ezra came to the office to take care of the forms required for his return to work. The team listened in the bullpen as they could hear the argument going on in Chris's office.

"Told you I won't sign off on this until you get a clean bill of health."

"If you look carefully at what you are holding, you will see the stamp of approval from the evaluation."

"That's not the one I mean, and you know it."

"For the last time, I will deal with this in my own manner."

"Well now there's the problem – isn't it. You aren't dealing with it, and you never have. Someone needs to force your hand on this, and I guess that't going to be me."

"While I appreciate the care and concern you showed, it was an anomaly. You are not my father. You are not family."

"Which I guess is the reason I never molested you?" Chris tried to swallow the words back, knowing he couldn't. Perhaps he'd get lucky and the building could just cave in on him.

"I knew it was only a matter of time until this happened. I had hoped for a bit longer to prepare for the eventuality, but apparently that was not meant to be."

"Dammit Ezra. I didn't mean – I don't. Ah, shit."

"Don't, please. Do you think that I am unaware of how difficult a secret like that is to maintain? And I have had considerably more practice than you."

"Ezra? Did he say what we think he just said?" Vin asked quietly from the doorway. Ezra turned to see the remainder of the team coming into the office, all with stunned looks on their faces.

Realization dawned on Josiah. "That would be your monster in the dark."

"I have told Chris, and I am telling you, all of you, just once. This matter does not need to be discussed any further. It is over. It has been over for years. The perpetrator is dead, and unworthy of our time and consideration. We need not speak of this again."

"Ezra –" Buck began.

"Ever. We need not **ever** speak of this again."

"I think we all disagree with you on that." Nathan replied.

"Well, that is unfortunate, but changes nothing. I have dealt with it. I have accepted it and moved on. Yes, I still have some nightmares, but far fewer than I used to. And yes, I don't imagine anyone is astounded by the fact this experience has served as a trigger to unleash some of those feelings and fears again. But I am not a child anymore. I have learned how to cope with this reality, and far better now than ever in my past." He looked at them, watching him, listening and trying to understand. He smiled. "You can't accept that. You can not comprehend how such a change is possible. Look at each other. If you could see what I see right now. This concern. This compassion. This support. I don't have to speak to anyone, as long as I know you are all here for me should that change. The knowledge that I am no longer alone is all that I need. All that I have ever needed. Can you accept that?"

No one spoke for several minutes, thinking over what he said, looking for signs that he truly meant it.

Josiah finally broke the silence, sizing up the expressions coming from the rest of the team before commenting. "Not sure if it will be all that easy son, but like you, we can learn."

M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7-M7

 **THE END**


End file.
